gyanjyoti

Sometimes I think I am happy. Sometimes I wonder about myself and my surroundings. Sometimes I wish if I could just leave all this “important” stuff in life and wander like nomads, enjoying the colors of nature. Sometimes I really wish to let go off my passion and just sit beside the beach listening to the songs and decrypting the cipher text that god has provided me. If only it was possible!

People always tell me to do something great, achieve something big! Money, fame and Luxury! They say, once I reach the top, I can relax; but in my race to the top I have discovered that it is nearly impossible to rest at the top. People near me, who care about me look up to me. They expect me to do something extra-ordinary with my life. I do not know if I am capable of doing anything like that but I do assure them that they won't be disappointed. I feel guilty. I really do not want to be an Engineer. I do not want my name to be on the list of world's top coders; all I want is a few moments to relax; to take some time out and forget the race to success. Movies like 3 idiots do inspire this side of mine, but then this inspiration is crushed by the reality of this society.

This burden of expectations is too much for me. Not only expectations there are responsibilities too. Responsibilities for my action, for my words and for everything I see and ignore. One cannot simply run away from these responsibilities. Currently, I am trying my best to live up to my duty but my quest for that silver lining is still on!