gyanjyoti

Getting to the top is never easy, but for this person it was harder then for most. Listen to what he felt:

Every child faces embarrassing situation, of not looking good enough or not being good enough for his peers, or being teased or, basically, of not fitting in to some degree. I experienced these feelings daily. It wasn’t easy. I had stutter and a double thumb. This set me apart from other children, it made me different. I didn’t fit in. I was teased so often that I begun to feel I wasn’t normal.

When I was 21, around the time I had decided to pursue a carrier of my choice, I was diagnosed with a bad case of scoliosis (An abnormal curvature of the spine. Usually, the condition occurs late in life, resulting from disease of the bones or muscles supporting the spinal column; however, it may be a congenital malformation for the vertebrae that can be corrected, at least in part, by surgery) and a ruptured disc. I was sitting across this doctor who told me that I could never be what I wanted to be- I could never jog, never run I could never dance, never do any of those things that a film hero does. He went on and on, slowly and steadily destroying me bit by bit, demolishing all my hopes and aspirations. He even advised me to change my career plans.

To describe me! It just reinforces my belief that miracles can happen.

At that time only person who knew about my problems and who could help me was I, myself. So it was a very lonely fight. It took me about a year and a half to gather my strength. During that period, I did not pick up even a pin from the floor because the doctor had told me not to bend, that it would harm my back. He had told me not to jog, so I never ran, I never exerted myself. I became completely sedentary.

Then one day I realized that if I accepted defeat and cut myself off from all my dreams, there’d come a time when I’d be 50 and I’d never have known whether that doctor was right or wrong about my becoming an actor. That thought scared me more than the thought that I might break my back acting. So I resolved to find out if I could.

I read many books and learnt as much as I could about my back problem. I listened to my body and I treated my own back, I found a way of strengthening my back, and of strengthening my entire body along with it. Now here I am, a macho hero! Terms like ‘bulging biceps’ are used to describe me! It just reinforces my belief that miracles can happen.

I don’t think courage is the absence of fear. I think it is feeling the fear, but harnessing it and going for it anyway. All my life, whatever I’ve done a leap of faith. When I went to acting classes, every time I stood up to enact a scene before the class, I had to have faith that I wouldn’t stammer. And I didn’t. That is why I think it is very important to believe. It’s tough, but once you cross the line with confidence, it gets easier.

If Sussanne had not been in my life, I would probably not have become an actor. When I met her, I was seriously contemplating giving up my dreams. I was scared, afraid of what would happen if I failed. Moreover my dad kept telling me that I shouldn’t become an actor, that I should do something more stable. He didn’t want me to go through the kind of struggle he had faced as an actor for 20 years.

At that time, it was Sussanne who blindfolded me, in a manner of speaking, and pushed me in front of the camera. Her words of reassurance made me believe that I could do it. She voiced that part of me which believed that it was possible to overcome my fears. The confidence that she had in me made me more confident about myself. She came into my life like an angel. I still believe that she has been sent by God to take care of me and in turn I try to take as much care as I can of her.

Meeting her has been the best thing that happened in my life. I think marriage is the best thing in the world if you find the right person.

If I have to choose the most important thing that I have learnt from my experiences, it’s the answer to the question, “Do you have to see something to believe it, or do you have to believe enough to see it?” The answer is: You have to believe enough to see it.

Miracles happen if you believe strongly enough. I’d like to tell people that even if a situation seems hopeless, don’t give in. Persevere. If you truly believe, the magic will happen. It happened with me.

This interview of Hritikh Roshan was published in February 2004 volume of The Readers Digest.